Promote Health + Prevent Burnout: A Pelvic Rehab Therapist's Guide to the ~Perfect~ Self-Care Day

I never ~truly~ understood or appreciated the importance of self-care until I became a mom. It’s then that the opportunity to take a bath at whim, read to my heart’s content, and simply sit in peace to drink a warm cup of coffee past 6 AM dwindled to infrequent at most. Now someone else depends on me 24/7 and expects my best day in and day out. And if I’m being honest, despite my unknown fertility and the deepest of desires to become a mom, I often wondered (in those once quiet morning hours with said warm coffee in hand) if I was ready for it all.

Now that my Lolo girl’s here, I can tell you without question that she’s worth the un-manicured nails, unread stack of books, and reheated coffee. And I’m sure most mamas would agree. But there’s something to be said for a woman’s physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing, in a season of motherhood or not, that’s worth the extra effort every now and then.

I’ve recently started to set aside at least one self-care day a month, and let me tell ya, it fills my soul every time. I try to incorporate ~feel good~ things into my every day too– from my morning workout to nightly facial, my daily strategies for better pelvic health and taking every possible opportunity to get better sleep. But sometimes I just need a whole (or at least half) day dedicated to me, where self-care isn’t regimented or compromised or squeezed into spare moments, but instead done when and where and how I want with full regard for me, myself, and I and not a care in the world beyond which flavor of kombucha’s in my cup holder.

This type of self-care takes planning and can wind up feeling like a chore in itself, at times tempting to deter me from taking part altogether. But my friend…we’re already fitting everything else into our busy schedules (heyyyyyyyyy my fellow color-coordinated Google calendar lovas), what’s one more thing in the name of self-care? And I ~must~ suggest making this the FIRST thing on your agenda every month that all other appointments and outings revolve around.

Before I spill the deets on my perfect day (humoring the brain of a pelvic rehab therapist and channeling the heart of a tired/busy/hygge-lovin’ mama), let me remind you of one thing– being mindful, indulgent, and unapologetically protective about this time is not selfish. It’s essential. You deserve it, your family/friends/coworkers deserve the best version of you, and I believe with my whole heart that this is a non-negotiable for the woman who wants to optimize her health and avoid burnout in her many life roles.

JOURNALING

I’m not big into journaling (yet!), but I want to be, and a day dedicated to me always feels like the perfect opportunity to treat myself with a moment of self-reflection and growth. When I do put pen to paper, I need a little prompting when it comes to what to write and these are the four sentence starters I use to set myself up for success–

~ Self-care is important to me because…

~Today I want to feel…

~ My perfect day would include…

~ I deserve today because…

I don’t know about you, but spending the first five minutes of a special day like this is just…*sigh*…right. A day that can quickly turn frantic with trying to squeeze in all the things and check all the boxes is so much more likely to actually fill your cup when you go into it with peace and intention and have [these] words to come back to. Even for my fellow self-proclaimed “non-journaling” gals, this one’s for you too, and I hope it makes as big of an impact on your self-care day as it does mine.

BREAKFAST

Whether your self-care day is starting at the crack of dawn or you’re getting into it a bit later, there are a few guidelines I recommend following as you choose your breakfast. Obviously it should be something you enjoy, and maybe even include something you consider a treat (I’ve been known to grab a donut from my favorite local shop when I’m out and about). But remember…today’s about caring for yourself from head to toe, and fueling yourself properly first thing in the AM is sure to set you up for success.

The best breakfasts contain a combination of carbs, protein, healthy fats, and fiber. On top of that donut I mentioned above, I loooooooove putting in a little extra effort to whip up something like avocado toast and a side of two hardboiled eggs where the yolk’s still that perfect kinda soft…mmmmmmmmm. It’s healthy but decadent and definitely isn’t something I take the time to make on your average Tuesday.

Because your self-care day is likely full to the brim of all the things (and this can 10000000% include a nap if you so choose), a hearty breakfast to begin will help you feel better and fuel you longer through the day. Even if breakfast isn’t your thing, at least try to have a little fat and protein with your coffee (aka milk of choice and scoop of collagen powder) to keep those stress hormones happy and balanced.

TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS

You may not agree with me that this belongs in a self-care day, and if you don’t, then skip right on by to the next thing (this is ~your~ day, remember???). One of my biggest life stressors is the “little” things that I just can’t quite fit in my average week– running to the post office, getting my hair cut, shopping for birthday gifts, etc. When these pile up my brain is a fog, so checking off a nagging to-do list is actually a huge relief for me.

Now…I make sure my day isn’t all errands, and as I’m crossing them off you better believe I do it in style. I have my favorite podcast playing in the background and drink of choice in my cup holder (ilysm GTS kombucha). I go at a leisurely pace, make unapologetic pit stops, and honestly…not having to pull a one year old in and out of the backseat all day feels pretty special in itself.

After that nourishing breakfast of course, I put this at the beginning of my day so the rest of the time can be spent on the “fun” things. This is where your journaling the morning of or night before can be helpful– because you can go back to your plan and intentions for the day, especially if you start falling into “get it done” mode, and quickly get back on track.

SOMETHING THAT LIGHTS YOU UP

Ok…this is where things get exciting because the world’s your oyster here. Depending on your budget, introvert versus extrovert tendencies, adventurous or homebody style, and available time, how you spend the big chunk of your day will look drastically different for any and every person reading this. You could take a bath complete with bath salts (this is my favorite and MANDM10 will save you some $$$ on your Primally Pure purchase), music, candles, and maybe finally shaving your legs. If you’re feeling more extravagant, you can check yourself in to your local spa and have someone else pamper you.

For those who are recharged by being around others, plan ahead and grab lunch with a friend, go shopping with your mom, or even schedule a chat with your bestie while taking that bath. If you’re like me and get refueled by being alone, lock yourself in a room to work on a craft project, cozy yourself up in a coffee shop, or simply stay in that bath until the water gets cold and you’ve officially turned into a prune.

Anything goes here as long as it’s something that ~truly~ lights you up. I’ve been known to go on a waterfront walk, quilt in my living room, spend an hour browsing a specialty grocery store, get an extra-long workout in, and even take myself out for a basket of french fries. Seriously…as long as you know how to love on yourself (this is where that journaling really comes in handy again *wink wink*), this time will be invaluable and likely the best part of your day (if not month).

SELF-HEALTH EXAMS

Back to the stuff that might not be as “fun” but really is a big part of self-care and shouldn’t be ignored. We all know we’re supposed to do a regular breast and vulva exam, but somehow finding the five minutes every month feels ridiculously impossible. This is why I always include these checks in my self-care day and I can be proud and confident that I’m truly improving my health in the process.

Breast Exam– Breast cancer can’t necessarily be prevented, but it can be detected (and therefore treated) earlier through consistency with a monthly breast exam. The National Breast Cancer Foundation has a great resource for how to perform a thorough and effective breast exam including what to feel and look for in the shower, in the mirror, and while lying down. If you find something concerning– lumps, dimpling, puckering, or nipple discharge, be sure to contact your doctor.

Vulva Exam – The outer area of the vagina that you can see (labia minora, labia majora, clitoris, and opening) is called the vulva, and it’s important to keep an eye on how this tissue looks, feels, and moves as your bladder, bowel, and sexual health all depend on it. As a pelvic rehab therapist, I encourage my patients to examine their vulvas once a month to make sure everything not only appears normal, but also to catch issues if they arise. This free guide includes allllllllll the details on vulva anatomy, what to look for when you’re doing a self-exam, and my top tips for taking care of your vulva the other days of the month including washing, trimming, menstrual care, sex, laundering your undies, etc.

Your average woman likely wouldn’t include these exams in her ~perfect~ self-care day, but you know you need to do them and honestly…they give you yet another excuse to set aside this time on your calendar. These exams are fast, easy, and readily accessible to all, making them a stress-free way to up-level your health and day.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS

I saved my favorite point for last, mainly because I think this is a make-or-break to an effective self-care day and also one of the easiest things to include with very little effort. Channel your inner Julie Andrews and identify a “few of your favorite things”, then find opportunities to sprinkle them throughout your day. For me this is full fat creamer in my coffee and using my favorite mug. It’s my handpicked playlist in the background as I’m exercising and a lineup of podcasts for my drive. It’s going the extra five miles for the lunch I’ve been craving and unapologetically asking for five dipping sauces on the side. It’s wearing the shoes that make me feel cute, taking the time to curl my hair, and putting on the earrings that would otherwise feel too fancy.

As you find these extra-special, go-all-out ways to add spice your day, pause and notice what you’re doing and how it makes you feel. Are you more confident, playful, content, peaceful? Stop and realize how a simple extra step or two can make all the difference in your mood. I personally like to carry these small things into the other days of the month when possible and try to replicate those feel-good moments. This is how I’ve learned to love Mondays and busy days and I highly recommend appreciating and leveraging the power of those little details.

As you can see, my self-care day isn’t all about primping and pampering (although those things are nice too). It’s about clearing my mind by taking the opportunity to do things I love and don’t have time for otherwise. It’s slow and intentional and sure as heck allowed to morph and change as the day goes on.

This is ~my~ perfect day, but remember that yours is allowed to look eerily similar or drastically different. The amount of time you set aside, how you fill it, and who you spend it with is your prerogative. As long as the day lights you up and leaves you feeling fulfilled for the other 29(ish) days of the month…you’re doin’ it right.

AND NOW A FEW NOTES

To my fellow workin’ mamas– If you have a job outside the home and miss your babe(s) like crazy by 3 PM on Friday, taking a self-care day can go against every ounce of your instincts when all you want to do is be with that little person of yours. Trust me…I get it. But allow me to share what I remind myself each and every time this day rolls around and I’m tempted to spend it with Sloan instead. They need to watch you taking care of yourself. They need to see you making your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health a priority. They will know how to prioritize themselves when you model it first, and this world definitely needs more people who know how to emulate love and care.

To the woman who just doesn’t have the time– I’ve felt like this person before too, trudging through a season with a never-ending list of work, life, and relationship to-do’s, my laptop always open, calendar always full, and obligations beyond what I should have promised in the first place. To you I recommend making a schedule from start to finish of what your self-care day would look like…how would you spend your time from sun up to sun down and how long would each of those “tasks” take. Take that list and find a way to fit one aspect of that day somewhere into your week at least once (or twice). And when you’re in that moment, ~fully~ experience it. No multitasking, no rushing, just be, and slip in at least one of those little details from above to make it extra special.

MY CHALLENGE FOR YOU

Get this day on your calendar! Like NOW! Even if you have to scroll a few months down the road (hello again my busy buds), schedule the “you” time that you need and deserve. And you know that button you can click to automatically repeat an event???…tap that while you’re at it.

Trust that you can slow down, even if only an hour or day at a time. Dedicating time to yourself and your health can really make such a difference and I can’t wait to see what you do with this permission-granting info.

– Amanda

Disclaimer: The content provided here does not constitute medical advice, nor is it a substitute for personalized healthcare. If you have concerns about a medical condition, diagnosis, or treatment, you should consult with a licensed healthcare professional.

Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. No pressure, but I have a feeling you’re gonna like what I’ve taken the time to put my recommendation behind.