I absolutely love what I do for work, but as a soon-to-be new mom, I anticipated maternity leave with every fiber of my being. Months away from the office with snuggling my babe and learning how to “mom” being the only things on my calendar…it sounded like pure bliss. And honestly, it was. Sure, there were long nights and moments of “WTF am I supposed to do here” and all. the. pelvic. floor. healing., but overall they were the most magical four months of my adult life and to say that I will look back on them fondly is an understatement.
In reality, I am currently printing baby photos for my work desk and will likely daydream about this time for the unforeseeable future.
While it’s typical for all the attention to go towards the mama during pregnancy and swiftly shift to the baby after birth, I was determined to keep a lot of the postpartum focus on myself. That may sound narcissistic, selfish, and maybe even wrong to some, but I know that I can’t show up as my best self if I’m not taken care of, and I’ll be damned if my girl doesn’t get the best version of me as her mama.
So early morning feeds, endless diaper changes, schedule over-analyzing, and panicked Google searching- trust me when I say that all of those things still happened. And nearly every one of Sloan’s waking moments have been spent playing, snuggling, and learning, probably to the point where she’s thinking “mom, a little space please?!”.
But those other moments- the naps that lasted, the mornings she decided to sleep in #praisebe, and the times that daddy took on baby duty- you better believe that I made the most of them, and more often than not put self-care and personal happiness over the accomplishment of an empty sink or hot dinner made promptly by 6 pm.
I will forever and ever amen cherish the way these last four months were spent, and I can’t recommend enough being just a little greedy when deciding how to fill your maternity leave days. Here are the nine things I did to make the most of my time at home, and #noregrets has never rang more true.
Set a Word of Intention
If you’ve never heard of this, setting a “word of intention” has become a practice that many implement in the new year. It’s kind of like a resolution, but you choose a word that’s meant to be the guide or theme of the year ahead (“balance”, “connect”, and “present” are a few popular picks). While I’ve personally enjoyed this exercise for the last few years, I decided to take it a step further and set a word of intention for my maternity leave…one that I could come back to if I felt lost or stuck or just plain confused in this new life season.
I decided on “settle”. And not settle like “to settle for something less”, but more like “to settle in” or “get comfy”. Settle in this new role of motherhood. Settle into a different relationship with my husband and body. Settle into being content with change and life shifts.
I believe that this practice positively shaped my time at home and provided solace in the tougher times. When Sloan wouldn’t fall asleep- settle into the crying and rocking, because these moments will soon pass. When my body wasn’t healing as quickly as I would like- get comfortable with moving slow and intentionally because the pressure to rush and push will return.
This word has quickly become my word of intention for 2021 even beyond maternity leave, and let me tell ya…it’s proving to be a good one for my busy mind and go-getter mentality. I highly recommend telling those around you if you choose to adopt this practice as it will be so much easier for them to remind you of it when times get hard, or support you in it with their words and actions.
Established a Skincare Routine
One of the many things I consider a perk of being a new mom is not feeling the need to put on makeup. A) I’m not really going anywhere, and B) I personally feel that my time is better spent on other things. But with weeks of zero foundation application, I found this to be the perfect time to get serious about my skincare, and the 5-10 minutes I took every morning and/or evening turned out to be extremely refreshing and life-giving.
If you’re curious about what my routine is and what products I use, you can find my favorites, as well as how I apply them, here. It’s no secret that I have an unabashed love for Primally Pure, and this skincare regimen has kept my face nearly flawless despite the hormone rollercoaster I’ve been on in these pregnant and postpartum months.
In order to stay consistent with this, I always did it at the same time of day- right after Sloan went down for her first nap. It was something I ended up looking forward to every morning, and whether you go all out with a 4-step process like I did or simply splash your face with water and rub in a little moisturizer, I can’t tell you what a difference this ritual made to my overall wellbeing every day.
Put Sloan on a Sleep Schedule
So I know this one can be a little controversial, especially when talking about a newborn, but Bob (my husband) and I are both people who need our sleep, and it was very important to us that we both got quality shut-eye in order to be the best parents possible. We ended up investing in the Taking Cara Babies newborn course before Sloan arrived and began implementing the flexible sleep routine strategies the day she was born.
Because of this course (and following the tips on their Instagram page), Sloan was waking only one time a night by three weeks old, and sleeping through the night by three months. Now I don’t say this to brag because I know it could literally change tomorrow. However, I do write this to encourage you to fight for what’s best for you and your family. All three of us thrive when everyone gets their sleep, and I know keeping Sloan on a science-backed schedule is the main reason this time has been so fulfilling rather than draining.
Busted Out My Kindle
I had no idea how much time pumping and breastfeeding would take out of my day, and it’s personally hard for me to multitask those activities other than watching TV or scrolling my phone. After a few weeks, I found those options to be mind numbing and doing more harm than good, so I started pulling out my kindle during those times and HOLY MOLY. My productivity, self-worth, and creativity soared, and feedings quickly became my favorite time of day.
I’m typically an avid reader, but fully expected my amount of reading to decrease once I become a mom. But I’ve proven yet again that I’m someone who needs a good book in my life at all times, and this was one of the easiest and most impactful changes I made to better my mental and emotional health postpartum.
Said “No”
Let me preface this by saying that I’m a people-pleaser by nature and the thought of letting others down or cancelling plans is typically enough to give me palpitations. But I knew that I would have to fiercely protect our time and energy for my family’s wellbeing, and after a little bit of practice, “no” maaaaaay have officially become my new favorite word.
I said “no” to visitors, invites, outings, and deadlines. Not every time, but if it wasn’t a definite “yes” or if there was anything in me not 100% looking forward to it…it got a “no”.
That simple two-letter word made me feel empowered and free, and realizing that I was spending my limited time at home exactly how I wanted to gave me so much peace. I probably know I made some people upset, but those who really care will (eventually) understand that these precious days are entitled to unique circumstances. And honestly, this is a practice I plan on implementing liberally from here on out, because each day with my girl by my side is special and I refuse to waste a minute with her on anything that doesn’t bring us pure joy.
Grew Out My Eyebrows
Weird fact about me- I’m very self-conscious about my eyebrows. I’ve never fully understood what to do with them and once had a guy break up with me because he said my eyebrows were bad *eye roll*. I’ve always wanted to grow out my brows and decided that shameless weeks at home were the perfect opportunity to do so.
I’ve been using the Province Apothecary Full Brow Serum (which only has all natural ingredients btw), and have been pleasantly surprised by the results! My brows are thicker and fuller, and while I still don’t know if they’re the right shape for my face, I can tell you that maternity leave was the perfect time to make this happen.
Stopped Washing My Hair
Kind of like the eyebrow thing, it’s been a goal of mine to decrease the amount of times a week I wash my hair. I have super thin and very oily hair, and going just one day of not washing left my head looking like a wet mop. I knew full well that this would improve as I decreased how frequently I lathered up, but no time ever felt right to go out in public looking like…that.
But again, the private time that maternity leave afforded me made it completely ok to walk around for days on end with my hair in a “mom bun”, and I’m now proudly only washing two times a week.
I must also give credit to Primally Pure’s dry shampoo, which is the only one that’s ever actually worked for me (and for my fellow brunettes, they have a dark option that blends in perfectly). I started applying it to freshly dried hair, and I feel like it makes my wash last at least a whole day longer.
Started a Passion Project
I am a doer to the core, and being able to balance motherhood with my creative side in the form of a passion project was by far my favorite part (other than Lolo, of course) of maternity leave. While home from my full-time job as a pelvic floor PT, I’ve been able to dedicate more time to my side hustle providing women’s health education online, and it has brought my soul so much joy to dive deeper into that role.
Even if you don’t have a business, I’m here to tell you that this form of self-care can be achieved. Home improvement, crafting, and writing are a few other possible passions I was tempted to dedicate my free time to, but as soon as I started becoming more consistent in my online ventures, I just couldn’t stop. And now my visions for this side gig are becoming a reality and I’m dreaming bigger than I ever have before.
While these actions of self-care may not seem significant to some, it’s the little things I did (or didn’t do) that made me feel like I was continually working on my physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. As a new mom who has given of her whole self from the minute Sloan entered the world, I’ve found that taking time for myself is vitally important in staying true to who I am as a person outside of motherhood.
I don’t like to call the moments I get to myself “mommy time”. It’s “Amanda time”, and it’s proven to be exceedingly valuable and worth the little bit of extra effort.
Whether you’re a new mom on maternity leave, a mom whose babies are out of the house, a fur mom, or not a mom at all, I must recommend a little bit of self-love daily. We only get one shot at this thing called life, and we might as well enjoy it while we’re here. Plus, I’m a firm believer that we’re better at all of our roles when we put ourselves first, and there is no shame in finding self-improvement in self-care.
Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. No pressure, but I have a feeling you’re gonna like what I’ve taken the time to put my recommendation behind.
