37 Random Things I’ve Learned in 37 Years

I’ve been secretly celebrating my birthday month behind the scenes, but now that it’s my big week, I thought it would be safe to #noshame share that ya girl turns 37 (!!!) in just a few days. While it’s not necessarily a “milestone” or “momentous” year, this one just seems…mmmmmmmm…special. I feel stronger (in every sense of the word), more secure, smarter, more excited than ever before.

Maybe the sayings are true – maybe experience does come with age and everything else naturally, automatically, serendipitously follows? Who knows! But between loss, becoming a firefighter wife, parenting a three-year-old, raising chickens, and working through personal & family health struggles all in my last trip around the sun, those experiences just keep stackin’ on up, honestly whether I want them to or not.

I still feel young, but more mature…if that makes sense? Liiiiiike I can still keep up with my girl running around the kitchen island, but caring what others think, wearing uncomfortable clothes, stressing the small stuff, and staying up past 10 make that 9 PM…those are most definitely things of the past.

I’m not claiming to know it all, but I thought it would be fun to sit down and write 37 (very random) things I’ve learned in the last 37 years – the kinds of things I hope my daughter picks up far faster than I did, the kinds of things I wish I could go back and share with 17, even 27 year-old me. Are they special or exciting? Um…no. Are they all true for everyone? Definitely not. Are they exceptionally wise? I’ll let you be the judge of that 😉 (but really…the answer is no).

Regardless of whether or not I’m old enough to share life advice, it turns out writing 37 (again, very random) things did provide the reflections and ah-ha moments I was lookin’ for. And I hope something inside this blog post does the same for you.

37 years, 37 life lessons

1. NO ONE CARES

I used to roll my eyes when someone said “the world doesn’t revolve around you”, but now I remind myself of this on the regular. The fact that everyone is more focused on their own troubles and triumphs than mine is a beautiful permission slip to [be] me in all the ways – wear what I want, try new things, and make big decisions without worrying about what others think.

2. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

There’s only one person I’m guaranteed to have by my side for my entire life (me), and if I don’t know her inside and out, find her worthy, and love her unconditionally, I’ll never be able to show up fully in the world. This is more than taking #treatyoself opportunities…it’s setting boundaries, standing up for myself, and embracing my uniqueness, and I will remain my top priority with no guilt, knowing I’m a better wife, mother, friend, coworker, etc. because of it.

3. TRACKING YOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE IS A MUST

As someone who once begged her mom not tell anyone she started her period, I’m proud to say I’ve come a long way in the last thirty(ish) years. From family planning to understanding my hormone health, predicting energy and productivity levels, modifying my workouts, and simply knowing *exactly* when my period is going to start, tracking my menstrual cycle is by far the easiest and most effective thing I do for my physical, mental, and emotional health. Period (hehe).

4. IT’S OK TO QUIT

Even just typing ^^that^^ I had to check in with myself, because sometimes quitting feels borderline criminal – something for losers and those who are “less than”. But looking at the big picture critically and course correcting or choosing again in relationships, careers, and other pursuits is sometimes the smartest thing we can do. The quicker and more confidently I wave that white flag, the closer I get to the life that’s meant for me.

5. READ, READ, READ

If I have free time and I’m not writing these blog posts or baking sourdough…I’m reading. Books are the cheapest form of education and entertainment out there, and I look forward to devouring a chapter of something inspirational when I first wake up, sneaking in a few pages about my current hobby on my lunch break, and falling asleep to a juicy romcom novel at night. (Yes, I’m always reading three books at once!) While there’s nothing like holding the real thing, I’ve been obsessed with renting e-books for free from my library on the Libby app then downloading them to my kindle for easy and accessible enjoyment.

6. SWITCH TO WIRELESS

Until about a year ago, I didn’t even know wireless bras were a thing. I had heard of and worn a few bralettes, but a bra that promised the same look, lift, separation, and support of an underwire bra (but without an underwire) was something I had to experience for myself. Not only did I fall in love with the obvious comfort advantages, but wireless bras also mold and adapt better to breast shape and size (perfect for my three-plus year postpartum but still ever-changing body) AND place less restriction and pressure on the breast tissue allowing for more breathability, blood circulation, and lymphatic flow. This one is hands-down my favorite and what fills my undies drawer.

7. SPEND YOUR MONEY ON HEALTH

In a world where investing big and buying the next best thing are supreme, spending that hard-earned money on health might seem silly, useless, and excessive. But nothing’s more expensive than illness, and quality food, gym memberships, blood tests, supplements, specialist appointments, and anything that will help me reduce stress or sleep better are worthwhile and necessary investments. There’s no money-back guarantee or Amazon Prime shipping and patience and persistence are key, but putting stock in my wellbeing proves I’m worthy, and the ROI outweighs the risk every time.

8. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS

Screw society’s meaning of “making it”, because even though I was checking all the boxes, I felt unfulfilled. Once I defined my own success, I had a clear vision of where I wanted to be and started feeling that sweet satisfaction when I achieved it. So what does success look like for me these days? It’s fresh flowers on my dining room table, preferably from my garden. It’s having time to homeschool my daughter. It’s wearing matching pajama sets to bed. It’s yearly family photos. It’s daily “I can’t forget this” moments. And so much more.

9. THE BEST PRAYER(S)

As I Christian I grew up saying “The Lord’s Prayer”, and my favorite part has always been “thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”. There’s something about that full surrender, trusting God knows best, and believing His perfect plan will come to fruition. I still say this prayer daily, but I picked up another one from Gabby Bernstein – “this, or something better”. So now every time I go to God, I pray those two sayings together, affirming that whatever He has in store will, in fact, be the best thing for me.

10. CONSISTENCY > PERFECTION

This one applies in soooooo many places, but I primarily implement this mantra in my workout regimen. Between having a baby and starting this blog, I’ve gotten busier over the years, and my perfect streak of intense exercise 6-7 days a week just isn’t doable anymore. Rather than throw in the towel altogether, my current goal is to consistently workout 4-5 days a week, then celebrate when I can do more and show myself compassion when I can’t. This mindset shift keeps me away from “all or nothing” thinking and takes away one more ~~reason~~ excuse to give up.

11. YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL

Of course we’re all unique & beautiful & amazing in our own ways, and the odds of me being me (and you being you ;)) are about one in 400 trillion. But the struggles I’m going through, the seasons I’m in, the situations I’m experiencing…they’re not special and I’m not the first person in those circumstances. [This] is why I share my strivings and setbacks – because there’s power in numbers and knowing you’re not alone.

12. KNOW YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

It’s likely you’ve heard of Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages”, but if not, the idea is that there are five main ways people want to be loved – physical touch, acts of kindness, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts. Once I figured out my love language (words of affirmation) and communicated it to my partner, my cup felt far more filled. Sure gifts and nice gestures are lovely, but send me a thoughtful text or leave me a sticky note with a sweet message? Game over.

13. STOP TO CELEBRATE EVEN/(ESPECIALLY?) THE SMALL STUFF

In our fast-paced world, it’s so. dang. easy. to slip into autopilot without even realizing it – going and scrolling on to the next thing…all without stopping to acknowledge accomplishments. Of course the big wins (almost) always get airtime, but celebrating the small stuff has its own set of benefits. Not only is it fun and feels good, but I’ve found pausing for a little self-praise creates a sense of purpose, encourages progress, and gets that dopamine flowin’ with appreciation and pride in myself.

14. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

I didn’t meet the love of my life until I was 30. It took six gosh-dang months for our chickens to start laying eggs. I spent nine years paying off my student loans. We’re still (and likely always will be) turning our house into our dream home. In all honesty, I was not blessed with the gift of patience, but boy do the best things in life take time. And when I stop forcing it, slow down, and trust the outcome, [that] is when the magic always happens.

15. HOW I LOOK IS LEAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT ME

There is *nothing* wrong with getting your hair done, dedicating time to an amazing skincare routine, knowing how to contour your makeup, and throwing on a cute outfit. But the older I get, the less I care about how I look and the more energy I put into how I feel, my passions and projects, and the impact I’m making on those around me. So I don’t get my hair colored or my lashes filled. I don’t go on shopping sprees and I will likely never learn the basics of blush and bronzer. I’m so much more than what I look like, and that realization has freed up my focus for far more important things.

16. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

From food to friendships and everything in-between, this principle proves true again and again. My “less is more” approach to life is centered around this code, and this level of intentionality has helped me simplify life, save time and money, and overall surround myself with more unique and memorable experiences.

17. A LITTLE LUBE GOES A LONG WAY

You knowwwwwww the pelvic floor therapist in me had to come out at some point, and this isn’t the only soapbox she’s gonna be standin’ on (you’ve been warned). I used to feel shame around using lube, but between hormones fluctuating monthly and changes in stress and life seasons, it’s actually quite normal to be “dry” sometimes. I now like to look at lube as an essential safety measure and easy way to increase the likelihood of having an orgasm. My current favorite all-natural, water-based, looks-cute-on-your-nightstand lube? Check it out here.

18. ROMANTICIZE LIFE

A beautiful mug for your morning coffee, pulling out the quilted picnic blanket for lunch outside, lighting the fireplace for movie night, the perfect playlist while prepping dinner – those little details go a long way and can turn the most mundane activities into memorable moments with overall minimal effort. On those days where life just feels blah, I love finding opportunities to crank up the dial (even just a little bit) on the fun & fancy & flare factor for an instant dose of joy and delight.

19. ACTION TRUMPS KNOWLEDGE

We live in an exciting time with virtually (literally and metaphorically) billions of resources at our fingertips to ask questions and access information. And from health to home projects, parenting to planting a garden, not a day goes by that I’m not learning something through books, podcasts, social media, or online courses. But the important part…the fun part…the part that actually makes a difference is taking action on that newfound knowledge. So what are you waiting for, friend!?

20. SILENCE IS GOLDEN

Let me be clear…I do not subscribe to the sentiment that women should be seen and not heard. Case in point – all but one of the podcasts I listen to weekly are by women because the female perspective is, without question, a powerful one. But as a chatty Cathy myself, I’ve had more foot-in-mouth moments than I care to admit, and everything goes better when I pause before giving input. It’s not always easy, but that extra second to question the impact of my words, my tone, and my facial expressions (oooooh that last one gets me every time) is worth the awkward silence.

21. GOD BLESS AIRPLANE MODE

When I’m overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, or burnt out, airplane mode is my go-to anecdote. Notifications are silenced, access to the outside world is removed, and I can protect my peace from the pings and save my sanity from the scrolling with one simple click. It doesn’t take a trip at 30,000 feet to benefit from this wonderful function, and I consider it my secret to slow and soulful days.

22. GET THE DAMN CHICKENS

After years of wishing and coming home from Wilco empty-handed, we finally got chickens this spring. We didn’t know what we were doing and we definitely weren’t “ready”, but our girls are thriving, Sloan is *obsessed*, and there’s nothing (and I mean nothing) like collecting eggs every afternoon. Even if chickens aren’t on your vision board, the lesson here is this: you’re never really prepared for the big things in life – buying the house, having the baby, starting the business – but as Marie Forleo says, “you wouldn’t have the dream in your heart if you didn’t have what it takes to make it happen”.

23. YOUR BODY WANTS TO WORK

Every body system (including the pelvic floor) wants…desires…longs…aches to function at its full capacity. The bladder doesn’t like leaking. The pelvic floor muscles prefer not to hurt. The bowels prooooobably don’t enjoy being constipated. In fact, I like to picture the opposite! I imagine the leakage & pain & constipation & [insert any issue here] as our body’s plea for support. And when we put in the effort and find that “where has this been all my life!?” answer…the body lets us know about that too. Rather than bash or berate or belittle our bodies, maybe we should start thanking them instead? Repeat after me: Thank you, body, for all you do. I hear you. I appreciate you looking out for me. I know these things can take time. But I’ve got you.

24. ASK FOR HELP

I’m a control freak and overachiever. In other words, asking for help is not in my MO and “I’ve got this” or “no thanks” are often my default responses to being offered assistance. But every time I’ve asked for or actually accepted it, damn does it feel good to let someone else lessen the load or take the lead. And the best part? Allowing others to help gives them an opportunity to use their gifts and me an excuse to express gratitude…a win for everyone involved.

25. INTUITION IS EVERYTHING

Intuition…a hunch…gut feeling…inner knowing…no matter what you call it, it’s a powerful thing. Women’s brains are naturally and intentionally wired for intuition, but I wasn’t always quiet enough to hear it or confident enough to act on it. Flexing my intuition muscle looks turning inward for answers and trusting my instincts, flowing with an innate feeling rather than forcing. The stronger I make this sixth sense, the more sure I am of my self and my decisions.

26. YOU’RE THE SUM OF THOSE YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH

Especially since becoming a mama, I’m very particular and unapologetic about who I spend my time with…not only because there’s none to spare, but because who I allow in my circle also shapes me as a person. I don’t need friends who agree with my parenting practices or politics, but it’s important that they’re go-getter kinda gals who have big goals and support me in mine.

27. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A GOOD SHOWER

I get my best ideas in the shower. I answer life’s biggest questions, talk my way through tough conversations, and have my hardest breakdowns…all in the shower. The shower is one of the few places that’s truly distraction-free, so there’s no surprise it’s also where my brain works best. Just cruise down the hallway, close the door, and crank up the heat for the most refreshing and relaxing reset ever.

28. SIMPLICITY IS SWEET

As a libra, my tendency is to take everything over the top. But since becoming a mama, I’ve learned the sweetness of simplicity. My daughter, Sloan, would rather visit the crabs in the grocery store tank than go to the aquarium; if we’re home, she’s content playing with our chickens. When you enjoy simple things, it’s just easier to be satisfied, and I’ve never been more grateful, never had so many “pinch me” moments since uncovering how lovely life’s little things are.

29. WATER IS THE ANSWER

Drinking water is one of the cheapest and most easily accessible things I do for my health, and not just pelvic health, but health health. Full body, head to toe, mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing are all driven and affected by water, and if my body’s not well hydrated, I can feel the side effects. I aim to drink half of my body weight (in pounds) in ounces of water per day. That’s filling this water bottle up twice and I always add my favorite electrolytes to one of them.

30. DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY

I’ve already covered that no one cares and my life circumstances aren’t special, so why on God’s green earth would I hold myself back from letting lose and loving life? Dance in the grocery store when a good song comes on. Smile at the stranger on the street. Get the donut with sprinkles. Create something…anything…without calling out imperfections and with permission to make mistakes in the process. In other words, the more opportunities I find to (appropriately) act like my three-year-old, the more fun and freeing my days feel.

31. NUTRITION OVER CALORIES, STRONG OVER SKINNY

Oh how I wish I could go back and save younger Amanda weeks…months…years of hassle and heartache with this one. Between counting calories and stressing over my jean size, I spent way too much time worried about the wrong things. My diet is now based on nourishing rather than restricting. I exercise to be stronger, not skinnier. It’s about how my body feels and functions, and funny enough…my figure naturally follows suit.

32. WHO YOU MARRY MATTERS (MAYBE THE MOST?)

I didn’t get to pick my parents, my sibling, or my child, but I did get to choose my spouse, and he has impacted nearly every area of my life. As someone who, in a past life, made a not-so-great decision that ended in divorce, I can say with certainty that who you marry matters the most. The way my husband believes in me, the father he is to our girl, and how he leads our family has shaped who I am and how I go about life, and I’m so happy he’s mine (*cue the sappy & happy tears*).

33. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT…

I’m interested in a million and one things, but as those priorities & passions & projects add up, I’ve surrendered to the fact that I can do anything…but not everything. There are only 24 hours in a day (and at least eight of them should be spent sleeping), so I keep the things that bring me the most joy and willingly leave the rest with zero guilt or regret.

34. BABIES BRING ABUNDANCE

When I first got pregnant over five years ago now, I couldn’t help but think of everything I’d have to give up – impromptu date nights, days spent reading, sleeping in, my pre-baby body – and they did in fact disappear when I became a mama. But the birth of my daughter brought more abundance than I ever thought possible. I could’ve never imagined this level of intuition, intention, and inspiration, every moment is more memorable & meaningful, I have a stronger “why”, and life just feels more grounded, vibrant, and right. Gosh I love you, Sloan, and I would trade the beauty sleep for the unbelievable blessings you’ve brought, again and again.

35. PUT SKIN IN THE GAME

Every time I put my money where my mouth is, magic happens. As a self-proclaimed “penny pincher” this was a hard pill to swallow, but from buying books to hiring help, research shows that those who pay pay attention. The more I spend, the more serious I am, the more success I see. So if I truly want a transformation, I walk the talk by committing to a transaction…and it’s been worth it every time.

36. RELAX YOUR DAMN PELVIC FLOOR

There is very little health advice that applies to everyone, but I can say with confidence that if you’re reading this blog (and made it allllll the way down here…go girl!), you should be relaxing your pelvic floor. Nearly all women have pelvic floor muscle tension, which can lead to pain, bowel and bladder dysfunction, and more. Click here to learn how to relax your pelvic floor and implement the same techniques I preach and personally apply every day for optimal pelvic health.

37. IT JUST GETS BETTER

I’ve never been smarter, felt sexier, or had a stronger sense of self. I honestly didn’t know this level of security existed, and I sure as hell didn’t expect it in my late(r) thirties. With every extra candle I blow out each year, [it] really does get better – [it] being every aspect of life I give my energy and attention. Forget “washed up”, try “watch out world!”, because I’m determined to make this a reality with every trip around the sun.

Ok…let’s do that again next year!?

Ok, that was a fun one! I honestly could have kept going…did keep going!…then paired it down to my top 37. And I’m curious to know – which one resonated with you the most?

Here’s to another beautiful year of goals & growin’ & goin’ with the flow of all that life has to offer. You better believe I’m going to start it with homemade espresso and a donut from our favorite local bakery, staying home from work to soak up snuggles with my girl, and an afternoon in our garden.

– Amanda

Disclaimer: The content provided here does not constitute medical advice, nor is it a substitute for personalized healthcare. I’m a doctor, but I’m not your doctor. If you have concerns about a medical condition, diagnosis, or treatment, you should consult with a licensed healthcare professional.

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