5 Reasons Women Lose Their Libido + Alllllll the Ways to [Naturally] Improve Your Sex Drive

Hey ladies – let’s talk about libido, shall we? Someone’s got to…because there’s a million things in our multi-faceted, beautiful as heck, and oh-so-busy lives that can affect our sex drive, and it’s 100000000% normal for woman to want sex, be aroused, crave intimacy, desire pleasure…aaaaaaaand be frustrated when it’s just. not. happenin’.

(FYI – I’m going to make some sweeping gender generalizations in this post based on common stereotypes and my personal experience in this world. But I know that you know that I know everyone is different, and we all have unique attributes, characteristics, behaviors, and experiences, and no one ~truly~ fits into the “average” mold, m’kay?)

When it comes to sex, females are typically more emotionally driven, while our male counterparts tend to be more physically focused. Intercourse and intimacy, however, are physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes even spiritual acts and aspects of a healthy relationship, and if any or all of the above aren’t fully feelin’ the love, that lovin’ feelin’ can die out…and fast.

I personally experienced this after delivering Lolo, which was theeeeee most beautiful home birth, but resulted in a less than ideal pelvic floor situation complete with pain, pelvic organ prolapse, and an added mix of hormones, emotions, and exhaustion that no post-natal vitamin or placenta pill could fix. Truth be told…I’m nearly two years postpartum and stilllllllll don’t feel 100% back to my pre-Sloan libido levels, but I’m also still breastfeeding (more on that soon) and am simply content with my sex life in this season.

Please hear me say (again) that there’s nothing…I repeat NOTHING wrong with wanting sex or wanting to want sex. There’s also nothing wrong with not wanting sex (are you confused yet?) and there’s officially no “normal” when it comes to how often you “do it”. Humans are, however, naturally sexual creatures, born with a primitive and instinctual desire to reproduce. So if your libido’s lower than you’d like it to be or those feelings just aren’t firing like they used to, it’s definitely worth investigating.

I’m happy to report that a limited libido can often be addressed with awareness, time, and a few tweaks. Understanding the physical, psychological, and lifestyle factors that affect sex drive is half the battle, but then it becomes easier and more intuitive to take action and give your body a little grace in the process. If this sounds as good to you as it does to me, then you’re in the right place.

Hormone Imbalance

Hormones play a major role in a lackluster libido, in fact…nearly all the reasons I’m about to share for low sex drive come back to hormones in one way or another. Here’s how it works –

The endocrine (or hormone) system acts like a lock a key. The sex hormones of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are like keys floating around in the blood stream, looking for their lock-like hormone receptors. When those hormones (keys) reach their matching receptors (locks), a door is opened and a cascade of events begins. In the case of libido, the perfect balance of sex hormones cause more blood flow to the genitals, increased vaginal lubrication, higher energy levels, and dopamine to the pleasure center of the brain.

The hormone dance is a delicate one as sex hormones (and a few others) naturally fluctuate through the phases and cycles of a woman’s month…and ultimately life. Between the reproductive stages of puberty, pregnancy, postpartum/breastfeeding, and menopause, hormones reflexively rise and fall, and don’t forget the other physical, psychological, and lifestyle factors that ~all~ play a role in this hormone balancing game too. Knowing these “normals” can be empowering and provide insight and explanation to your current sex drive status.

ESTROGEN

Estrogen is created in the ovaries and adrenal glands and is considered the primary sex hormone in females. As estrogen ebbs and flows through the monthly menstrual cycle, libido fluctuates too. When estrogen levels rise and peak during ovulation and increase again towards the end of the luteal phase, you may notice a bit more ~desire~ on those days compared to others. Conversely, it’s typical to have a lower sex drive in the follicular and early luteal phases of your cycle as estrogen is lowest at these times. (Don’t know when you’re in what phase of your cycle? This is yet another benefit of tracking your menstrual cycle with basal body temperature and cervical fluid through the fertility awareness method [FAM].)

These same estrogen levels vary in a woman’s reproductive life cycle as well. A rise in estrogen triggers puberty, then it steadily increases until leveling out in our early 20’s (also considered a woman’s sexual prime). Estrogen is highest during pregnancy than any other time in a woman’s life, then plummets postpartum (oh lawwwwwd, the hormone plummet!). Estrogen typically returns to its baseline around six months postpartum or when a woman is done breastfeeding, but then slowly decreases with age as the ovaries produce less estrogen and eventually triggers menopause. The same principle of high estrogen = high libido, low estrogen = low libido can be applied here as well.

TESTOSTERONE

Testosterone is often considered a male sex hormone, but women also produce testosterone in both the ovaries and adrenal glands. Testosterone specifically effects sex drive by increasing dopamine production in the brain, so when menopause, chronic, stress, or lifestyle choices limit testosterone production, it can result in a lower libido.

CORTISOL

Cortisol is a hormone made by the adrenals to help control blood pressure, metabolize sugar, and reduce inflammation (all good and necessary things!). But in the presence of chronic physical, psychologycal, and lifestyle stress, cortisol works overtime to maintain homeostasis in the body, and adrenal fatigue can occur. Estrogen and testosterone production decrease when the adrenals aren’t fully functioning, and sex drive naturally follows.

THYROID HORMONES

There are multiple thyroid hormones, but the primary ones you need to know for this discussion are thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) which signals the creation of triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroixine (T4). While hypothyroidism (or low levels of T3 and T4) cause a decrease in estrogen and testosterone levels and secondary low libido, hyperthyroidism (high levels of T3 and T4) have also been linked to a limited sex drive due to common side effects including depression, fatigue, and mood disorders.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR HORMONES ARE TO BLAME

As you miiiiiight be able to see, isolating the source of low libido and hormone imbalances can be tricky because there are so many internal and external factors to consider. Add in the fact that one hormone issue can cascade into another, and getting to the primary cause can be difficult. This is why it’s vital to work with an endocrinologist, functional medicine doctor, functional nutritionist (what I did!) or naturopathic doctor to truly get to the root of the problem.

There are multiple ways to check your hormones, and most of the professionals I listed above will likely recommend one or more of the following tests. There are currently multiple avenues for hormone testing thanks to innovation and technology, but it can still be beneficial to collaborate with someone who can help you analyze your results and guide you in the next best steps to take.

Saliva Test- Best for testing estrogen, testosterone, and cortisol, saliva samples are often collected at home by spitting in a tube to assess the amount of “free” or readily available hormones in the body over a period of time.
Blood Serum Test- Good for testing all the hormones, this is a blood draw taken in a doctor’s office or lab that analyzes blood in its original form and at one specific moment in time.
Blood Spot Test- Best for testing estrogen, testosterone, and thyroid hormones, this testing requires a pin prick with blood dropped on a piece of paper and can be done at home.
Urine Test- Good for testing estrogen, testosterone, and cortisol, urine samples are often collected at home to assess how the body metabolizes hormones over a period of time. Urine tests are also able to measure more types of estrogen than blood tests.

NATURAL HORMONE SUPPORT

As a pelvic rehab therapist, hormone imbalance is not my forte, but I have a handful of natural, safe, and research based options I encourage my patients to look into and try if low libido is one of their complaints and treating the musculoskeletal causes isn’t working. I personally prefer going the more holistic and conservative route first when health issues arise, and the following herbs and minerals just may provide the hormone support your body needs.

Ashwagandha- An ancient medicinal herb that stimulates the endocrine system for estrogen and testosterone production and thyroid function. You can take it in capusle or powder form.
Maca Root- A tuber known as “nature’s Viagra”, this adaptogen provides adrenal support and aids in estrogen production. You can take it in capsule form, as a powder, and I’ve also heard good things about this sex dust which contains organic maca root extract as a key ingredient.
Magnesium- This mineral makes testosterone more bioavailable to the body and supports the adrenal glands. You can take it in pill or powder form.

All of the above are considered safe for most, but because these supplements affect hormones and the endocrine system, if you have hormone-specific health concerns like breast cancer, PCOS, endometriosis, ovarian cancer, or uterine fibroids, it’s important (like…really important) to talk to your healthcare provider to discuss if these supplements are safe for you.

Lifestyle Factors

You’re now aware that hormone imbalances are a full-size factor in low libido, but hormones don’t just go haywire on their own. There’s often something we’re doing (or not doing) in our everyday lives that cause those sex hormones to take a hit, and I want to share the common culprits with you here so you can start playing detective in your days. Now before you go through this list and promptly close your computer out of overwhelm, please know that perfection is ~not~ expected in any way, shape, or form. I’ve been working on creating a hormone happy lifestyle for yearsssssss while fighting endometriosis and trying to get pregnant, and I still don’t get it “right” sometimes.

Rather than read this list and see energy-sucking, time-consuming, and expensive line items, I personally prefer to look at it a little differently. Think of these as actionable, accessible, and overall easy ways to intentionally work towards hormone health and a healthy sex drive without any special testing, medical appointments, or medications necessary. Higher libido is likely just a few healthy habits or tiny tweaks away, and I can’t wait for you to notice the difference.

CHEMICALS + TOXINS

Makeup, skin care, candles, cleaning supplies, menstrual products, laundry detergents, perfumes, food (I could ~easily~ keep going)…it’s normal nowadays for just about everything to contain endocrine-disrupting toxins and chemicals. Simply read the ingredient list on just about any label and you’ll fine carcinogens, pesticides, plastics, and solvents that essentially clog the hormone’s lock and key mechanism I shared with you earlier in this post.

Switching to all-natural products for home and wellness is a fun and overall effortless way to liven up your libido, but before you throw out everything you own, slow and mindful product swaps are less wasteful and far more manageable, IMO. The next time you run out of your current bottle or tube, replace it with a toxin-free option. Use the Think Dirty App to scan products, learn their ingredients, and shop safer during your weekly grocery haul. If you can’t pronounce the ingredients, see the word “fragrance”, or the product is bright blue…it likely doesn’t belong on or near your body.

Don’t know where to start? You can find many of my current all-natural favorites that I settled right here.

This (quick but intentional) fix can provide fast libido-boosting results, and the long-term benefits of decreasing your body’s toxic load can make all the difference beyond your sex drive too. I’ve personally experienced the positives of ditching the chemicals for all-natural alternatives, and once you see the transformation, I have a feeling you’ll never go back either.

DIET

You now know to avoid the processed chemicals, so let me make the rest of this one realllllllll simple for ya – eat less sugar, consume more (good) fat. Yes, friend, it’s as easy as that! We don’t need to talk about what leafy green is best, debate a vegan versus carnivore diet, or demonize dairy. As long as you’re overall avoiding simple sugar and prioritizing healthy fats, you can be sure your libido is properly nourished.

First of all, I will never encourage cutting out sugar completely, and a treat here or there isn’t worth losing sleep over (nor will it cause you to lose your libido). But regular sugar consumption can kill your sex drive one bite at a time since insulin balance, blood sugar, and sex hormones are all intertwined, and excessive sweets can decrease testosterone and overwork the adrenals…a recipe for low libido.

Now for the stuff you ~should~ eat, whiiiiiiiiiich is way more fun! Good, quality, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats are the building blocks for sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone, and play an important part in supporting your libido. Between avocados, olive oil, fish, and grass fed beef, there are so many ways to consume healthy fats. My personal favorites include whole, raw milk in my coffee and smoothies, eggs, cheese in any and every form, olives (with a charcuterie board, please and thank you), and goat milk yogurt.

Remember those “Eat This, Not That” books? This is the sex drive addition, and supporting your hormones with these simple diet tweaks is yet another way to naturally get your body and brain back in the mood.

EXERCISE

Not ~everyone~ loves it, but I personally believe exercise is magical in every sense of the word. And once you hear how a little sweat can increase your libido, I have a feeling you’ll be making more time for movement too. Exercise is so much more than weight loss, and there are both physical and psychological ways that being out of breath benefits you in the bedroom.

First, the bodily benefits, because everyone wants to feel physically better when trying to get physical, right? Regular exercise elevates testosterone (there’s those hormones again), produces more endorphins and dopamine, increases blood flow, and gives you more energy, strength, and stamina. You’re basically putting your body in a very “sexual” state every time you workout, making getting in the mood a more regular, natural, and likely thing.

There are also psychological bonuses, as exercise is known to reduce stress, build confidence, and improve the mind/body connection, all positives for the person struggling with sex drive. The better you *feel*, the more likely you are to wanna feel good, and libido loves a happy head and heart.

Research shows that no matter how you move, these brain and body benefits can be yours. From walking to HIIT to yoga to dancing to weight lifting, you don’t need a fancy gym, expensive membership, or tons of equipment to reap the rewards. As long as you’re moving regularly and (kinda) enjoying yourself in the process, a stronger sex drive is bound to follow.

SUBSTANCE USE

Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug use all have negative health risks, and surprise surprise…one of them is a low libido. Research shows that all of the above alter hormone production, contribute to stress, anxiety, and depression, limit muscle function, and can lead to low self-esteem, lack of motivation, and strained relationships. If you’ve been looking to quit or seek help with any substance use, let a better sex life be one of your driving factors to do so.

Pelvic Pain

Pain is a mechanism for survival that reflexively signals the brain to slow down, stop, or avoid the activity altogether. (Kiiiiiiind of like when you touch a hot stove, your body pulls away before you even have time to register the heat.) So when intercourse is painful, it’s no surprise your desire decreases because everything in you is saying “no thanks”. Even if you mentally or emotionally want it, the body might feel otherwise and put up a shield of defense.

For many women, this looks like pelvic floor muscle tightness and/or vaginal dryness. And this can unfortunately become a vicious cycle. Sex hurts, so your muscles tense, so it hurts more, so you tense more, and so on, and so on, and so on. Then…because our brains are pretty cool but kinda crazy things…the body learns to expect pain, and the muscles will reflexively tense up, even if there’s no reason to do so.

PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLE TIGHTNESS

Pain with intercourse is theeeeee most common thing I treat as a pelvic rehab therapist. (Yes…even more common than urine leakage.) Pelvic floor muscle tension is an epidemic at this point, and can be caused by so many different things I could/should honestly write an entire blog post about it. It’s also what I struggled with most after a third degree vaginal tear and what ultimately pushed me to seek help from a pelvic rehab therapist myself.

So what’s a girl to do?

Oooooh, friend…I’m glad you asked! There are so many surprisingly easy ways to decrease pelvic pain, and the less sex hurts, the more likely you are to want it. A part of this is controlling your brain (keep scrolling for those tips), but the other piece of the puzzle is taking physical control of your pelvic floor through muscle relaxation. Start by grabbing this guide on my top four tips to release pelvic floor tension. Then come back and browse the blog posts below! From my daily pelvic floor relaxation routine to breathing, dilators, and my personal healing journey, I’ve already shared so much on the topic and you can find it all here.

VAGINAL DRYNESS

There are so many things that cause vaginal dryness – low estrogen is one of them, but so are pain, pelvic floor muscle tightness, dehydration, as well as your head and heart.

If estrogen is low, especially during the postpartum period, in menopause, or certain times of the monthly menstrual cycle, the lock and key mechanism isn’t signaling the body to produce lubrication.
If vaginal penetration is painful, the body will decrease lubrication production to deter you from having sex.
If your pelvic floor muscles are too tense, they can’t contract and relax to secrete lubrication.
If you’re not drinking enough water, the body has farrrrrr more important places to hydrate than your vagina (just sayin’).
If you’re mentally or emotionally not into it, the pleasure centers of the brain are less likely to trigger lubricant production.

As you work through all of the above – supporting your hormones, relieving pelvic pain and tension, drinking more water, etc. – a vaginal moisturizer can help with dryness or brittle tissues in the meantime. Here are my all-natural favorites:

Bezwecken Hydration Ovals (only use half an oval at a time)
Desert Harvest Releveum (contains 4% lidocaine to ease pain)
Intimate Rose Organic Vaginal Cream (Use code AMANDA30 for $5 off your purchase)

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is another option for vaginal lubrication and vulva irritation. I often encourage my patients to talk to their doctor about topical Estrace, which is a cream made from estradiol, a form of estrogen naturally found in the human body. It’s the strongest of the four estrogen hormones and more bioavailable compared to other options.

When it comes to libido, the musculoskeletal aspect is my forte…I am a physical therapist after all. While I educate patients about the hormones, environmental factors, effects of birth control, and the mental component of sex drive, I shine when teaching women how to take control of their pelvic floor. It’s all one big, beautiful picture, but mastering the muscles is a must, IMO.

Pharmaceuticals

Let’s start with a little trust circle, shall we? I understand and acknowledge there are legitimate and necessary reasons you may need to be on one or more of the following medications. I’m not judging you, nor am I telling you to stop taking anything your doctor prescribed. No ma’am! My goal is to increase your awareness around pharmaceuticals and their common side effect of a low libido, so you can do more research, talk to your doctor, and make an educated decision moving forward.

HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL

First…hormonal birth control. Hormonal contraceptives typically contain a mix of synthetic estrogen and progesterone. Synthetic hormones make the body think it doesn’t need to make any of its own sex hormones, and the synthetic hormone key doesn’t fit as effectively in the body’s hormone receptor locks. They also increase sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG), which keeps estrogen and progesterone circulating in the blood stream where they’re not as easily used by the cells. All of this can lead to…you guessed it…a low libido.

If hormonal birth control is sabotaging your libido, there are often ways around it. In order to avoid pregnancy without hormonal contraceptives you may want to consider male and female condoms, FAM (what I’ve been doing for years), copper IUD, or contraceptive gel. Using hormonal birth control to manage hormone-specific health concerns like endometriosis, PCOS, and fibroids is slowly being replaced with a more holistic lifestyle approach, and I (and your sex drive) are here for it!

OTHER MEDICATIONS

Besides hormonal contraceptives, there are other medications that can affect libido too. Prescription drugs known to affect sex drive include anti-anxiety medications, anticonvulsant medications, antidepressants, heart and blood pressure medications, opioids, steroids, and Accutane. Over the counter medicines such as antifungals and antihistamines are also common culprits.

If you notice your libido drop with a change or addition in medication, this may be worth looking into. Every pharmaceutical has a side effect, and every medication you take for that side effect has a side effect too. You can talk to your doctor about alternative options or work to naturally resolve the reason for taking that medication in the first place. In the end, I simply recommend being mindful of what you take, why you take it, and the possible side effects.

Your Brain (The Biggest Sex Organ)

We already know our brains are amazing things. As women we have greater volume in the prefrontal cortex, orbitofrontal cortex, superior temporal cortex, lateral parietal cortex, and insula which correlate to attention, cognition, and flexibility, learning, prediction, and decision making, memory and emotions, sensory integration, and intuition to name a few. Long story short…our brains are working overtime in any and all aspects of life, and the bedroom is no exception.

As I’ve said, sex isn’t just physical for women – it’s a mental, emotional, and spiritual act as well. So if something’s “off” in your head or heart, it’s probably going to affect your libido too. Stress, fatigue, poor confidence, anxiety, depression, relationship issues…if your brain is focused on bigger things, sex drive is going to take a back seat.

While I’m not a sex therapist (yes…there is such a thing [!!!], and if you feel like this could be affecting your low libido I definitely recommend finding one near you), I do know that decreasing stressors and creating time for rest, self-care, and connectedness with yourself and your partner are all key. Read a steamy book, find a hobby you enjoy, go on a weekly date night, masturbate, take a detox bath. Anything that brings you pleasure (sexual or not) will get your hormones movin’, and your sex drive is bound to follow suit.

If you’re a reader and want to do even more research on the physical and emotional aspects of sexual health and libido…I have good news! I already rounded up my favorite books on the topic in a blog post earlier this year, and there are some amazing reads in the link below. If you’re ready to take initiative, do a little investigative work, and follow through, you are my kinda gal and I’m here for it.

You have a lot going on in that beautiful head of yours, and if things aren’t going or feeling quite right, it’s normal for your sex drive to suffer. Addressing the mental and emotional aspects of libido ~~isn’t always~~ is rarely a quick fix, but a little more acknowledgement and awareness around your thoughts and feelings can sometimes be enough to move forward and watch your sex drive spike in the process.

Can I be 1000000000000% honest with you?? I had a really hard time writing this post. I love this topic and could nerd out on this kinda info all day (obviously), but the female body is so intricate and beautifully intertwined that I had difficulty deciding where to put what information and went back and forth 8329017635 times. Stress is an emotion, yet it creates a hormonal response, which can manifest physically in muscle tightness…you get the picture. And tbh, if you’re like me, you’re likely ~living~ that picture too.

So if everything here feels a little overwhelming, [that] is why. And you’re not alone. I also sometimes get palpitations thinking about all the areas of my health that need a little extra attention, and you miiiiiight feel like you just added 47 things to your to-do list just from this one single blog post.

If you’ve been around here for a hot minute, then you know what I’m going to say next. Pick one action item and go all in. Learn more about it, download the resources, implement the action steps, and stay consistent. Thennnnn tweak, add, subtract, or change based on your body’s response. I’d love it if you shared in the comments what information resonated with you the most or described your situation the best.

God bless it, us women are amazing, and it brings me so much joy to touch on a topic that deserves farrrrrrr more press time for the female population. You have a sex drive, and your libido (low or not) is worth learning about. Let the theme “no such thing as TMI” continue on!

– Amanda

Disclaimer: The content provided here does not constitute medical advice, nor is it a substitute for personalized healthcare. I’m a doctor, but I’m not your doctor. If you have concerns about a medical condition, diagnosis, or treatment, you should consult with a licensed healthcare professional.

Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. No pressure, but I have a feeling you’re gonna like what I’ve taken the time to put my recommendation behind.

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5 Reasons Women Lose Their Libido + Alllllll the Ways to [Naturally] Improve Your Sex Drive