5 Reasons I Hate My Pelvic Floor (Read If You Can Relate)

Every week(ish) I write a blog post to educate & encourage & excite & empower women in all things health (from the pelvic floor up *wink wink*). And nearly 120 posts in, everything I’ve said and shared up until this point is heartfelt and true – wellness can be yours, it should be easy, and dang if I don’t love doing it with you!

But there’s something I’ve been keeping to myself until now…a liiiiiiittle detail I’m nervous & embarrassed & honestly scared to share, but I feel it must be done:

I hate my pelvic floor.

*Loud gasp*…*the crowd goes silent*…maybe this wasn’t a good idea?

Now this isn’t a bait-and-switch where you scroll to the end and read, “I hate my pelvic floor because it’s just so perfect and I can’t live without it and blah blah blah”. Nope…none of that “my greatest flaw is that I care too much” BS. I really, truly hate it. Seriously.

My palms are literally sweating as I type this (I can’t believe I’m telling you this!…why am I telling you this!?), so allow me pause here with a must-mention caveat – I love my job as a pelvic rehab therapist, and as I hinted earlier, ya girl straight up *lives* to talk about all things pelvic health with you [here].

But my own personal pelvic floor – the one that lives with endometriosis, literally tore in two birthing a baby, and was recently traumatized by a miscarriage? She can go to H-E-double hockey sticks and I’m 96% sure I’m ready to tell you why.

*Takes a deep breath*…here goes!

It takes A LOT of mental energy.

My favorite thing about the pelvic floor is that caring for it requires little to no time, money, or fancy equipment #praise, but oooooooooh does it need 24/7 attention. From posture to how you poop (yes…there’s a right way), breathing to body awareness, it feels like every minute of the day can make or break your pelvic health. And PS – I’ve got another 824 things fighting for my brainpower and bandwidth at any given moment.

Now I will admit…this does get easier as time goes on. Things that once required setting cues, sticky notes, and phone alarms are now natural and second nature with patience and practice. But even after nearly a decade of teaching and personally applying these techniques, many still mandate a mental check-in, even if just for a moment.

While I can relate to the “I don’t have time”, “I’m too busy”, and “it’s impossible to remember” excuses that often follow this fact (I hate my pelvic floor too, remember!?), I remind myself that it could be a million times harder…that my health is a priority…that I’m worth those split seconds of effort…and so are you. So yeah, you may also have 824 things competing for your care and consideration, but our pelvic health should (even if resentfully) be top ten.

If you don’t use it…you lose it.

This law applies to every muscle group of the body (which is why we can’t go to the gym for three months, get super fit, then call it quits and maintain our gains…*sigh*). But “losing it” in the pelvic floor department just feels a bit more consequential – i.e. peeing yourself, pain with sex, and prolapse to name a few. To put it bluntly…there’s no rest for the weary; this is a lifelong ~~struggle~~ journey, and sometimes ya girl would just like a dang break.

The good news is that “using it” doesn’t need to be complicated, expensive, or time consuming. Despite what you see on social media, you don’t have to do hundreds of kegels a day or core exercises until the cows come home. My “less is more” take on pelvic health (which you can find in the linked posts or the blog’s search bar) applies an accessible, actionable, achievable approach with real results on the other side.

There’s a sense of sureness and satisfaction that comes when sex is enjoyable, you don’t have to wear pads 24/7, and pooping isn’t a problem. Consistency might be crucial (and candidly…annoying), but when you bring it back to the basics and have a cut-the-fluff roadmap for clear, confident action, it becomes a habit you can’t help but uphold.

There’s no quick fix.

Allow me to say it for the third time – with the right guidance, pelvic health can be overall easy compared to other areas of wellness. Butttttttt…there’s no magic pill or fancy machine to get you there. The electromagnetic chairs, vibrating shorts, and red light dildos are all amazing in theory (and can admittedly accelerate and assist the process), but without improving body awareness, shedding bad habits, and altering muscle activity, the results will be short-lived and sub-par at best.

Fancy tools are fun and all, but total transformation is what I’m after and what I want for you. Unfortunately, we have to put in the work, and that work takes time. They say good things come to those who wait, and this is definitely one of those instances. I wouldn’t be against technology picking up the pace…pronto…please and thank you, but until then, we have to keep putting in the work and powering through the process.

It’s just not the same anymore.

There are a few things that can have a lifelong effect on the pelvic floor – pregnancy & childbirth (*raises hand*), menopause, miscarriage (*raises hand*), trauma, and surgery (*raises hand*) are the big ones that come to mind. While I’m living proof that pelvic rehab can work wonders at managing symptoms secondary to the above, it’s also clear that sometimes things are just never quite the same, and that’s a hard pill for me to swallow.

In true, mortifying, why-am-I-telling-you-this transparency, I still leak when I’ve done too many double-unders. My period is painful when I forget to relax my pelvic floor. My core muscles aren’t 100% since having my daughter (*ahem*…three years ago) and my recent miscarriage seemed to worsen that weakness.

I firmly believe you’re never too ~anything~ to address your pelvic floor health – too old, too young, too active, too sedentary, too far behind, too ahead of the game, too many births, too soon before babies, too busy, too broke, or too beyond help. Do I promise perfection? Haha…nope! But I’ll take proactive and always improving over paralyzed with complications every day of the week.

It’s involved in EV-ERY-THING.

Treating the pelvic floor is a ridiculously fun puzzle because it can affect and be affected by the entire body, literally from head to toe. But as someone with a pelvic floor, this is annoying & frustrating & confusing & overwhelming, making it hard to know where to look, how to start, or identify the “why” behind what you’re experiencing. Is it hormones? Muscle tightness or weakness? Medications? Maybe all of the above?

Facing this fact is scary but necessary. When you give yourself permission to zoom out and look at the big picture, that’s often when the insight and inspiration hit so you can start implementing. And if putting the pieces together is hard, remember there are professionals (hi!…it’s me!) who can help. My superpower is identifying the root cause(s) to pelvic health issues, and I’m here when you’re ready to find yours. Often one virtual consult is all it takes to pinpoint the real problem and start healing from there.

Yeah…it’s official…I hate my pelvic floor.

And there ya have it! I, Amanda Davis, hate my pelvic floor, aaaaaaaaand now the world knows it too.

I also hope the world (and especially you, friend) now knows that you’re not broken or behind or beyond hope if you feel the same way. Even though I hate my pelvic floor, my reasons for hating it are what keep me caring for it proactively and practically, what provide sweet, sweet satisfaction when I have control over it and confidence in it.

While I’m all for body positivity, there’s most definitely room for a love-hate relationship here and there, and the pelvic floor falls in that category for me. I love it for all that it does, its resilience, and its adaptability. But I also hate it for the reasons above, and could probably list a few more if given the time.

You’re not alone if you’ve directed a few four-letter words at your pelvic floor a time or ten. You’re not alone in the journey of fixing it either.

– Amanda

Disclaimer: The content provided here does not constitute medical advice, nor is it a substitute for personalized healthcare. I’m a doctor, but I’m not your doctor. If you have concerns about a medical condition, diagnosis, or treatment, you should consult with a licensed healthcare professional.